“Companionship in marriage is prone to become commonplace and even dull. I know of no more certain way to keep it on a lofty and inspiring plane than for a man occasionally to reflect upon the fact that the helpmeet who stands at his side is a daughter of God, engaged with [God] in the great creative process of bringing to pass His eternal purposes. I know of no more effective way for a woman to keep ever radiant the love for her husband than for her to look for and emphasize the godly qualities that are a part of every son of our Father and that can be evoked when there is respect and admiration and encouragement. The very processes of such actions will cultivate a constantly rewarding appreciation for one another” – Elder Gordon B. Hinckley, Marriage (Links to an external site.)and Family Relations (Links to an external site.)Instructor’s Manual, Lesson 5; (Links to an external site.)The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Upon reviewing quotes and readings about marriage, I came across this quote in my marriage class. It had a huge impact on me as it spoke truth of how we should view and treat our spouse. We believe that God has entrusted us with a spouse to love and cherish for eternity. We are able to do this when we strive to view them in His eyes. We are all God’s children and each of us has a divine purpose. If we are constantly finding fault in them then we are not viewing them as such. Something that Elder Joe J. Christensen warns against is ceaseless pin-pricking. The reason this is so destructive is that it not only can lower their self-esteem, but it also can form a habit within us as we get used to seeing the bad and not focusing on the good. As human-beings we by nature are flawed. Most everyone is aware of their flaws, so it is no use to keep bringing up another person’s flaws. In a marriage or relationship, it is reasonable to discuss ways in which each individual can work on improving the relationship, but the practice of “ceaseless pin-pricking” should be avoided.
I am sure each of us knows of a couple where the practice of ceaseless pin-pricking is done regularly. And I am sure we also all know of a couple where respect and admiration is abundant. The latter couple is most likely more happy and satisfied with their relationship as each member strives to see the good. I personally know of a couple where if anything is said about the other spouse, it is always positive. They never speak ill of one another and radiate happiness. Although having been married for twenty-two years, they seem just as in love as they were on the day they got married. When we look for the good we are acknowledging their faults but choosing to focus on the qualities that make them a divine child of God. This is how we will keep our relationships lasting and happy.
For Eternity 