Growing up in a single parent household, I hardly knew the impact that small acts of kindness has on a marriage. It wasn’t until my mother got remarried that I noticed these small acts directed to one another. The acts done by my stepfather were not always big or super time-consuming, but they did show my mother that he was paying attention and thinking about her. I saw how happy these small acts made my mother and noticed how she reciprocated them gladly. Author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman expresses the need for these small gestures. He belives that a long lasting, romance-filled marriage will be abundant in these small acts. That no matter how many vacations or romantic get aways that a couple goes on, it will not compare to the long-lasting romance and admiration that comes from serving one another. A happy marriage will be one filled with these loving acts.
Gottman also teaches the need for creating shared meaning. This is done when our lives are full of symbols, rituals, and meaning. Something that I noticed when my mother got remarried was the increase of family dinners that we had. I looked forward to opportunities I got to spend quality time with my siblings and parents as we all ate together. We were able to discuess the events that were happening in our own personal lives, as well as bond together as we listended and told stories. From this ritualistic practice of eating dinner together as a family, I had the desire to continue this in my own marriage. When my husband and I get home, we like to cook dinner together and talk while doing so. This brings us closer together as we share that responsibility and have that quality time with one another.
As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that small things can bring to pass great works (Doctrine & Covenants 64:33). We know that the Lord notices our effort and will magnify our works. This applies to marriage too. The small acts that we strive to do for our spouse will enhance our marriage and will be magnified through the Lord.
For Eternity 