From Dr. Gottman’s book, titled The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, I have learned a few key points in regards to maintaining a healthy relationship. One, we are in control of our responses and actions. Two, supporting one another’s dreams and aspirations are crucial in a happy marriage. Three, You have to have fun and continue to build a friendship with your spouse.
Something that I have learned in my marriage that was reiterated in Gottman’s book, is that anger is a choice. We are justified in having emotion, however, it is a choice as to how we respond. Little things used to irritate me more than they do now. I have learned how to laugh when things go bad. For example, my husband and I for months have had car issues. Having broken down on the side of the road several times and seeing his reaction of patience and hope that things will be okay, has helped me to have a more positive outlook. I have felt frustrated and angered due to this situation, but I realized when I choose to make light of the situation I am way more relaxed and okay with everything. Anger brings unnecessary stress. It can also negatively impact marriages if left uncontrolled. Finding the positive is always the best thing to try to do.
Another element of a marriage that Gottman encourages is supporting one another in their dreams and aspirations. Even being married, we each have our own personality and desires. It is important to keep our individualism and continue our own hobbies. Even though they may be different from our spouses’ we can support one another. My husband and his family have always enjoyed playing games with each other. When he initiates games, I try to find fun in the games he likes to play so that he can continue doing the things he enjoys doing.
Lastly, I thinking having fun with your spouse is extremely important. Life is meant to be enjoyed. As I mentioned earlier with the car, we cannot take things too seriously. We need to seek out the positive and strive to have fun while doing it. Some of my fondest moments with my husband is laughing with him. He is incredibly goofy and can make me laugh almost whenever. When we have quality time together doing something fun, we feel that much closer and bonded. It takes us back to when we first started dating.
For Eternity 