A lesson that I learned before getting married is the importance of working together as husband and wife, especially when it comes to disciplining your children. As hard as it may be, it is crucial that when a husband and wife disagree with each other, they do so in private and not in front of their kids. If you disagree or undermine your spouse in front of your kids, then your kids will not see you as a unit working together and can use that for their advantage. This was an important principle I learned in my Development Psychology class that is also reiterated in the article, Who Is the Boss? Power Relationships in Families by Richard B. Miller. He states: “It is vital that parents support each other in the presence of their children. If parents disagree on parenting issues, they should discuss the issues in an “executive session” without the children present. Children often try to play their parents off of each other. Consequently, it is important that parents make sure that they are working together and making decisions that are consistent with each other”.
One of the best things that I have noticed since being married is that my husband and I have become unified. Just because we are unified in marriage does not mean that we do not have our own unique personality or that our opinions line up all the time. And that is perfectly okay. We are still our own person, but now even better because we have our partner alongside of us. When me and my husband decide to have children, I hope that we can continue to be unified and make decisions together on behalf of our children. I want us to be equal partners in our home and avoid disagreeing in front of our children. I want to approach every issue with our children in agreement and help to be a good example of parents who love and respect one another.
For Eternity 