I am fortunate to have some pretty great in-laws. My husband has said the same about his. I think this is because of the trust each of our parents have that as husband and wife we can make decisions that our best for our family. There is a mutual respect and consideration for one another. So far, I have never felt pressured or controlled by his family. I am incredibly grateful for this. I do know though that some couples are not as fortunate.
The article titled, Creating Healthy Ties with In-laws and Extended Families by Harper and Olsen gives great advice and insight into maintaining healthy relationships with in-laws. He quotes Elder Marvin J. Ashton:
Certainly a now-married man should cleave unto his wife in faithfulness, protection, comfort, and total support, but in leaving father, mother and other family members, it was never intended that they may now be ignored, abandoned, shunned, or deserted. They are still family, a great source of strength… Wise parents, whose children have left to start their own families, realize their family role still continues, not in a realm of dominion, control, regulation, supervision, or imposition, but in love, concern, and encouragement.
One of the most important relationships in our life is the one we have with our spouse. We are encouraged to cleave to and uplift one another. Unfortunately, in some cases, there is a strain on the relationship due to family members and in-laws. I have seen this with my own friends. Parents can overstep their boundaries and want to make decisions for them. This has caused unnecessary tension in their relationship. Although we cannot control the actions and behaviors of others, it is important to establish boundaries and practices when making decisions. There is a sense of “marital identity” within a couple. A man and wife become unified when married and should strive to make decisions together. Getting into a habit of this will reduce marital stress and tension as both individuals discuss their feelings and concerns. I am grateful for a husband who has included me in decisions made and allows me to express my thoughts and opinions.
For Eternity 